8 is enough

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

My dear sister,Maznah

I have always wanted to write about this but it took me 2 months before i could finally have enough courage to do so.

This entry is wholly about my dear sister, who passed away 2 months ago, an unexpected death to the eyes of ignorant people but actually an obvious signs to the knowledgable ones. But maybe since we refused to admit that she was leaving us, we kept that aside, far away from our thought.
Before i write about her final days, i want to recall all the sacrifices that she did for me.

She got married in 1963 , a year before i was born, the last of 8. Since she was not bestowed with a child, i was the baby she didn't have.

She was the one who:
1. prepared for all my needs: clothes, favourite food(godam), etc.
2. took me to a funfair to see allahyarham P.Ramlee, Saloma, AR Tompel IN PERSON .
( i was thrilled of course)
3. took me to the river to "tangkul anak udang". She would wait until i finished my
Quran lessons before we treaded our way along the paddy fields paths to the river.
( the excitement of seeing the river prawns was undescribable)
4. Took me to have my first fashionable haircut at a salon.
( it was after she messed up my hair by giving me a very ugly cut)
5. Brought me to neighbours' houses for Malay movies.
( At that time we didn't own one yet. Many people crowded the house on Friday ngt)
6. Taught me to bake cookies for hariraya.
(She would ask me about the taste.if i said OK, she didnt believe, if i said KO
she would seethe with anger....sometimes i didn't know what to comment.suma tak
kena...masa tu tak posa lagi )
7. Taught me how to cook laksa(first time, i poured away the water used for boiling
the fish and got scolded.She said thats where the sweetness came from)
8. Showed me how to prepare the best bihun sup.
( Until now, i can only prepare these two dishes with pride..the rest...hancus)
9. Paid for my first suit of coat(blazer) for my first tertiary education abroad.
10.Actually the list goes on but of course i want to keep some to myself.

I forgot to mention that she adopted one baby girl when i was twelve and after that her attention fell on the girl only. God knows how she loved the girl and her name was on her lips everyday before she passed away. Unfortunately, the daughter who is in another town could not make it to be with her during her final days.

When i delivered Bob in 1992, she was down with a mysterious sickness for months.
All types of medication didnt help and in the end her state of mind was disturbed.
It continued for 14 years. Dont talk about medication. finally my parents were helpless and lost hope.

Finally after 14 years , her husband could not take it anymore.She became quite agressive to anybody who queried about her whereabout. Somehow, she never scolded me or acted agressively to me or my children.I was cautious when dealing with her emotion.Never argued with her. She would buy for my children sweets.

A few months back, suddenly she became so weak, refusing to walk, do any housework, nothing but eat and sleep until her back sore. My parents had to tend to her needs.I helped on weekends .When taken to the hospital, she was only given depressions medication.

A week before her demise, she had difficulty breating and again she was hospitalized and i cannot describe her condition. she breathed through oxygen mask. Every breath taken was a despressing struggle.She sweated a lot( actually another sign of heart failure/the good sign of a muslim about to see God) and i would wipe her face, massage her body and she would hold my hands...so touching.

However, we could still talk and she was awaken throughout the day and didnt sleep much at night. Then the doctor diagnosed her of heart failure and pneumonia .We were taken by surprise as she had never complain of these..or it was our failure to detect them.

We only knew she was depressed. in my later reading, then i came to know that depression could lead to heart attack and other types of ailments.but it was too late. i hate myself for being so ignorant.

The heartwrenching part is that the day before she left us, i had to attend a course in KL.I was contemplating whether to go or not but finally went with a heavy heart.The reason.....tak leh tulis....

At about 6.30, i received a call from my hubby saying that my sister was discharged as requested by my mom. She succumbed to her death just before Maghrib , a few minutes after they arrived home.

Away in a hotel in KL , i was waiting for Maghrib prayer and silently, i prayed if Allah wanted to take her, please do that gently as she had been one good responsible sister. That night, i returned with my brother and sister who are living in KL.

This coming 30th August, she would turn 60. i really dont know how to face that day.
i will definitely remember how she used to fuss about her birthdays and prepared all kinds of delicacies for us.

Al-Fatihah.( it was really difficult to write using past tense)

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Did it pay to be honest?

Yesterday, while fetching Bob for outing, he voiced his fear about him being persuaded by his teacher to reveal some errant boys' names . Together with 5 other friends, he listed down their names for jumping over the school gate (FLY).First, they were a bit reluctant ,knowing that this act could lead to problems. However, after being coaxed by the teacher, besides fearing of not telling the truth, they relented.
Later, they heard that the boys whose names were listed somehow came to know about this and they were very angry. My son was called to their room but he didn't go(fortunately).
My husband and i advised Bob not to entertain them as they could act aggresively towards him and his friends. We told him to go straight to the teacher if anybody calls him again.
We are really disappointed with this incident.Till now, nothing untoward has yet to happen but we are very unhappy as it seems it does not pay to be honest.Bob and his friends risked their fate and even life by telling this to the teacher.And it was very unpractical and inappropriate for the teacher to consult them in class.
(recess time but some students were still in class) Anybody could leak the news.
She should have been more tactful in dealing with this.
I'm praying hard that nothing bad will take place, if not i will definitely make a headline. i don't care.
Moral value : Nowadays, it's ok to break the rules but not so it you obey them.
Whatever it is, i'm happy my son told the truth as thats what he was taught.Never lie. Maybe the time was not suitable but they were young and innocent.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Gambar Faris

8/8/2006 - I'm ONE.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Farisku Turns 1

Alhamdulillah, Farisku is going to be 1 year tomorrow and the whole family is so excited about it except him. We had an early celebration last night as abah had to go for a course. Of course Faris had no single idea about this. He was too occupied trying out the high chair in the restaurant ,much to the dismay of all. Maybe he wanted to share his new talent.....

Anyway, he is yet to get hold of his feet, still relying on his knees(merangkaklah) unlike other siblings who mostly started exploring on their feet when they turned 1. Maybe knowing he is the last of the clan, he can enjoy more attention.

We also got him his first cho cho train but he is not all excited about it: he would rather crawl and search for he know what on the floor. A blessing for Alin, the sister who now can enjoy playing with it.

I pray Faris will turn out to be one fine man, the one we can be proud of.The same goes to all my other children.may they be blessed.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Atih's UPSR results.

Today Atih got her upsr results. She is quite happy as she obtains 3As 2Bs. I am also happy as i did not expect her to get that kind of results. To be frank, i silently hoped that she would follow the sister's and brothers' steps in getting good results in upsr.
However, based on her Year 6 performance, i could say that she was only an average student who only slogged during year 6. Before she did not really focus on her studies.
I would be lying if i say i am not disappointed but not that much. i have to be rational. it is her feeling that concerns me most. if she can accept her results, that is good enough for me.
She is going to her father's school so i am not worried as Syam can focus on helping her in secondary school. i am sure now she realizes that hard work is a must in scoring good results.
Still, another family celebration will be held tonight